In the first two parts of Anxiety Be Gone, I wrote about the different types of anxiety (the good and the bad). We begin to understand more about how each feels, and how we hold them, within our bodies. How we need our Warrior and Queen/King anxieties to protect and encourage us. How the third type of anxiety traps, crushes and prevents us from achieving all that we would wish for ourselves. Perhaps most importantly how this type of anxiety is completely unnecessary, and how no one needs to feel like this. Let me repeat that. Let it sink in. NO ONE needs to feel like this.
What mistakes are we making in trying to rid ourselves of anxiety?
If the above is true, why do so many kids, teens and young adults suffer from this needless condition? What mistakes are being made, perpetuating this anxiety’s existence? I hasten to add these are mistakes. This is not blame.
Firstly, have you tried to understand everything that there is to know about anxiety, without actually learning how to visualise a life without it? Where is your focus? Have you been taught properly how to see your 10/10 life, with joy and confidence?
Are you trying mindfulness and meditation, with a view to finding balance and attracting positivity, only to feel worse still when this doesn't happen? After weeks, even months of failed attempts to feel centred and calm you are left feeling frustrated and sad.
Perhaps you’ve registered with a doctor who has advised CBT…and it didn’t work*.
As parents, we do our best. We encourage. We gently nudge and firmly push. We say “jump in feet first, take the plunge, fake it till you make it”. Then seeing that this isn’t working, we flip it and try the reverse approach. “Dip a toe in, try it on for size, gently does it”. But our kids find it hard and although they try to please us, we see the distress on their faces and we know that this too is going to fail.
Maybe you’ve seen a councillor or two, who tell you to keep going, keep at it, keep trying, it will come. And you do, but it doesn’t come…nothing ever changes. It’s not getting better. You are stuck in a cycle of anxiety and failed attempts to feel better. This in turn makes you feel worse than ever, adding to your lack of self-worth and (lets face it) making motivation to keep going bloody difficult.
The good news is, it doesn’t have to be like this.
You do not need to live with the pain, no matter how long you’ve had it. Whether you are suffering as a result of the Corona virus, or if from as early as you can remember, you’ve known, that how you feel isn’t the same as how everyone else feels, it’s curable. There are solutions and there are ways to overcome anxiety. To stop it once and for all. You can’t do it on your own. You don’t have the tools, but there are people out there who can and want to help you. You just have to know where to look.
Once you do, the results will change your Life. You will be given the right tools. Your perception of the world will be challenged and when you view it with fresh eyes, you will start to see yourself with deserved pride in what you have achieved. And then, with love. Yes, love. No longer will your life be flat and in black and white. It will be in high definition, 3D and full of colour. You will hear the sound of your own laugh. Not the nervous laugh that you’ve become accustomed to. Not a half smile or a small sound, but a deep, meaningful, unfathomable, laugh that will stop you in your tracks. Because once you hear it, you’ll know you’re there. The old you has left the building. Long live the new you!
*I am not one of those NLP toting gun slingers who slates the CBT bandit’s. In my opinion, CBT has it’s place in the world, as do other types of therapy and counselling. In fact, whereas historically I’ve noticed a divide, creating an NLP vs CBT culture, I would like to bridge that gap. Watch this space!
I work with young people who struggle and suffer with anxiety, and who want to "feel normal" again. I do this by stopping their anxiety and giving them their life back, without them having to commit to a lifelong sentence of counselling or therapy.